at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
