So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
