How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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