Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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