we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
