it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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