so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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