Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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