i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
