And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
