I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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