Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
