Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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