I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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