I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
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The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
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THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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