I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
