hell yes lets make some ravioli
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
