Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it glows. i had to have it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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