That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
