She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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