the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
