She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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