i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
