She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
