my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
