He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
