he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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