And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
