Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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