Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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