I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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