You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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