She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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