and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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