i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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