if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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