You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
