I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
