OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
