I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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