she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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