her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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