just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
