No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
