Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
