Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
