drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
