so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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