I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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