In the future we'll all be gay
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
