Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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