i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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