How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
