Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
