For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You ruined the universe
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
