Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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