omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
