with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
